Beyond ‘Playtime’: Finding Play in Everyday Moments
By Playeum
Play is often thought of as something children do only after the “important” things are done, after school, after homework, after routines and responsibilities.
A recent webinar, How Children Learn Best: The Science Behind Play, invited us to look at play differently. Rather than treating play as something separate from everyday life, the conversation opened up a more expansive view of where and how play can happen.
Co-organised by the Centre for Holistic Initiatives for Learning and Development (CHILD) at NUS Medicine and Suncare SG, the webinar brought together Senior Minister of State Ms Sun Xueling, Dr Cheryl Seah and our Executive Director Charlotte on 16 July 2026 to explore the science behind play, the role of caregivers, and how play can become a more natural part of children’s everyday experiences.
Research already tells us that play supports children’s learning, relationships, problem-solving, language, emotional regulation and confidence. What stood out was a deeper question about the role we play as adults.
How do we show up in children’s play? What changes when we move beyond simply making time for play to being more present, responsive and playful in everyday moments?
Play Does Not Have to Be Elaborate
A walk to school can become an opportunity to notice insects. A grocery trip can become a search for colours or unfamiliar ingredients. Waiting for a train can become a conversation about how we might solve a problem. Even household routines such as sorting laundry can become a game of toss.
Play does not always need elaborate toys or a large amount of time. This matters because the pressure to “do play well” can sometimes make play feel like another responsibility for already-busy caregivers. Instead, we might ask: Where is the possibility for play already present in the day?
“Ordinary moments can be precious moments of connection. It's about building curiosity… because when you're curious, you have a desire to find out more. When you find out more, you have more knowledge. Knowledge begets insights, insight begets wisdom.” - Charlotte Goh
Children Need Both Structure and Freedom
This broader view of play also means recognising that it does not have to take one particular form. Structured and unstructured play are not competing approaches. Children need both, because each offers different opportunities for learning and development.
Structured play gives children experiences with focus, boundaries and shared rules, helping them practise following instructions, observing others, working towards a common goal and developing teamwork. Unstructured play, on the other hand, gives children greater freedom to explore, imagine, experiment and decide where their play might lead, building creativity, critical thinking, independence, problem-solving and perseverance.
As Dr Cheryl Seah and Charlotte highlighted, the value lies in the balance between the two. Children need opportunities to know when to follow a rule, but also the freedom to think beyond it; to work towards a goal, but also to discover their own; and to be guided, while having space to take the lead.
Being Present Matters More Than Being Perfect
For caregivers, finding this balance does not mean being constantly available for play. Expecting adults to be constantly available for their children’s play is neither realistic nor particularly helpful. As Dr Cheryl acknowledged, it is not easy to be continually responsive and attentive when there are so many demands occupying caregivers’ minds.
What children may need, instead, are moments when they know we are truly there. Charlotte described this as the power of presence: even ten minutes of fully present time can be meaningful. Play creates opportunities for connection and relationship, and sometimes simply sitting beside a child and sharing an experience can be powerful.
“When they (children) show us what they're interested in, when they're pointing at something, when they're trying to show us something that they've created, I think it's important for us to be there and to be there for them.” - Dr Cheryl Seah
From ‘Managing’ Children to ‘Being’ with Children
Charlotte also spoke about a shift in how we approach our role as adults, moving from “managing children” to “being with children”.
Managing children can easily become about compliance, efficiency and getting through the day: sit down, listen, finish this, follow the rules. Being with children asks something different of us. It asks us to notice, to listen, to be curious and to understand what might be behind a child’s words or actions.
This does not mean removing boundaries or allowing children to do whatever they want. But within those boundaries, there can still be space for choice, negotiation, curiosity and connection.
Listening does not mean agreeing to everything a child says. It means recognising that their perspective contains information that matters.
Children Do Not Outgrow Play
The conversation also challenged the idea that play belongs only to young children.
Play changes as children grow. For younger children, it may involve discovering the world through movement and the senses. As children grow, it can become more social, rule-based, and connected to their interests. Older children and teenagers may find play through sports, hobbies, digital games, creative pursuits or shared experiences with others.
The adult’s role, therefore, may need to change too.
Rather than insisting that older children play in the ways they did when they were younger, we can become curious about what they are interested in now. Charlotte shared how following her son’s interest in sports became a way of staying connected as he grew older.
This is especially relevant in conversations about digital play. Rather than framing screens simply as something to eliminate, the discussion recognised that digital spaces are part of many young people’s social worlds. The challenge is to find balance while remaining connected to their interests and experiences.
Staying connected to children can mean being willing to enter their worlds, even when those worlds are unfamiliar to us.
“One of the things I've asked my teenager is, teach me something you learn online. That can erupt in a whole conversation around something that he has learned, and then we talk more about it, and then the ideas that form around it all over dinner. So there are possibilities to engage in their world as well. It's always a balance. It's never one or the other. It's always a dance between knowing when to put it (the digital device) down.” - Charlotte Goh
So, What Might We Take Away?
Play is a way of connecting. It does not require perfection or complexity. What it needs is our presence and responsiveness in the everyday moments we share with children.
It is about noticing what catches their attention.
Following their curiosity.
Giving them space to lead.
Encouraging them to try again.
Listening when they have something to share.
Play is not simply about creating better experiences for children. It is about creating opportunities to understand them, connect with them and build stronger relationships.
“One message came through quite clearly, which is that play doesn't have to be difficult. It doesn't have to be complicated, and play doesn't have to be perfect. But what's important for caregivers and for parents is that we have to be present. We want to be connected to our children.” - Senior Minister of State Ms Sun Xueling
‘How Children Learn Best: The Science Behind Play’ is part of ‘Navigating Parenthood: Myths vs. Science’, a webinar series co-organised by the Centre for Holistic Initiatives for Learning and Development (CHILD) and partners.
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